Strange and Beautiful
by Cerise Murmur
Summary: A Song fic to Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung. What is that emotion...so raw, so unknown? Evey/V, rated K .


**I tried to make this as in character as I could. Although, of course the storyline isn't. Um, yeah, I really love this movie. The comic, not so much. But another songfic, : ) **

**Enjoy. You know I love reviews. **

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_I've been, watching your world from afar…_

The days had been passing, but not with the same consistency in which they usually did. They took their time, the minutes relishing the seconds they were composed of, and the seconds walking slowly across the spaces they had to cover. Your routine stayed much the same, but it was the most complex I had ever seen, or more so had the pleasure to witness. Everything from when you sighed your first sigh in the soft rays of the rising sun to when you crawled under the covers in the glowing moonlight and closed your eyes. Every movement so precise, every sentence so thought out, every moment a masterpiece. A conquering of time and space.

_I've been trying to be where you are…_

I was cleverly concealed the entire time, of course, not once did you suspect someone was following you. And I know because I had studied, I knew that if you thought someone was following you your pace wouldn't quicken nor slow, but you would run your fingers gently through your chocolate tresses, and a small sigh would escape your lips as your face contorted into that of frustrated helplessness. But I knew you weren't helpless, you would always be the smart one. You would lose them in a matter of seconds, swiftly swinging into a side road and then another, your steps steady, your breath never catching.

_And I've been secretly falling apart, I'll see…_

As I sat perched on your window sill I was acutely aware of everything. I heard you as you sang a bittersweet melody, thinking that no one could hear, your heart and mine pumping and breaking with your words, my hands clenching at the intrusive feelings, my face never changing, as it always would stay. I could smell the perfume as it left the bottle and attached sweetly to your skin. Your skin smelled better than any perfume could ever smell, this I was certain of. And I could see you, I could your beauty, all of the different sides of it, all different, but each more beautiful than the last.

_To me, you're strange and you're beautiful…_

Your ways fascinated me. The way you would brush your teeth in small even circles, not once straying from the pattern, not once missing a beat. The way you would eat, turning your fork upside down to make the motion more dignified. The way you would drink, raising the glass to your lips timidly, as if you were afraid it would bite you, lowering it harshly, as if you were upset at your timidness. The way the smallest disturbance would make you jump, your shoulders would quiver as you realized that it was not what you thought it was, it was just the cat, or just someone saying hello. I wondered what frightened you so.

_You'd be so perfect with me, but you just can't see…_

I know that if you saw me you would scream. You would look at my face and think that your nightmares had come true, your eyes would widen as adrenaline pumped through your system, your face would pale as a scream bubbled from within you. This, I was sure of. It's not as if I could blame you. You thought you saw my face in your mirror once. I could almost feel your shiver as you shook your head and tried to clear the foggy image from your mind, I could almost hear your thoughts as they scolded you for having such a vivid imagination.

_You turn every head but you don't see me…_

Oh, I couldn't tell you how many times someone almost died for a word out of place or a thought that I could see etched in their face. As I watched you, I watched how others were around you. I watched the men behind you, drooling, snickering dirty things that I do not care to repeat. Oh, how I longed to wipe the smirks off of their faces, to show them their blood and see how dirty their minds were then. It scared me how protective of you I was, like a father, but so much more than that, because the thoughts that crossed my mind, however innocent they may have been were anything but fatherly affection.

_I'll put a spell on you, you'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you…_

When I watched you sleep it was like everything in the world was here…because of you. You made strange emotions surge through me, from my face to the tips of my fingers. I hated you for it, but there was something else there, and I couldn't quite tell what it was. The fluttering of your eyelids as you dreamed would distract me from dissecting my own feelings, I would wonder what you were dreaming about, knowing that it wasn't me gave the oddest sense of comfort, as if I couldn't hurt you. You were like piece of china that I admired from afar, beautiful and fragile, body and mind.

_When I wake you, I'll be the first thing you'll see…_

I often wondered what you would do if you saw me, as I'd gotten to know you, as I'd studied your habits, I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe you wouldn't scream and run from me, maybe you would stop. Maybe your heart rate would quicken, but maybe you would be curious. And that's all I would need. A second of hesitation, the smallest bit of curiosity to convince you that I wouldn't hurt you, that I wasn't capable of hurting you. I hoped that I could read my own feelings as I thought I could read yours.

_And you'll realize that you love me…_

I would leave you when exhaustion got the better of me. I would walk home trapped in my thoughts, feeling like I would drown with the weight of them, like I would go insane with the mystery that they presented me. I had felt bewilderment before; in fact I had tasted it many times, enough to be familiar with its planes, enough to be able to trace its levels from memory. But this was different, a whole new level that was previously unexplored, I didn't like this level, I found it to be almost too complex for my mind to handle, too deep to comprehend. This was a whole new idea, that there could be something…so completely different that I couldn't wrap my brain around it. I had read millions of books, but this one strand of…raw feeling, I couldn't place.

_Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first…_

What use were you to me anyway? You were a silly girl, but then, what was I? A pathetic man that followed the silly girl? I think that might make me worse, in fact I was sure of it. I didn't want this, to get so attached to you…if that was even the right word. I couldn't pick words for feeling anymore, they had all betrayed me, leading me to think that I had guessed correctly but then shoving my guess away, scoffing, saying that they weren't complex enough to possess those traits. I should have known. I often scolded myself for being so stupid, so naïve. I felt like I had given a name to a victim, I let myself get to know you, and now what could I do?

_Sometimes the first thing you want never comes…_

I wanted you to prove to me that you were a hassle to me. You needed to be a flaw in the plan, I needed a reason to kill you, but I got a reason to…there it is, a loss of a word, a loss of language. No one should have this power over me, I hated you so much that I couldn't kill you. And there…putting words that shouldn't go together, making them match up in perfect harmony, making something that should be impossible very possible. Now I was messing with the nature of things, now I was where I shouldn't be. But what about you and I was routine?

_And I know…the waiting is all you can do, sometimes…_

I would come back just before dawn, just to watch you stir and your motions complain when the sun hit your eyes for the first time. You would bury your head under the covers…and at something as trivial as sunlight. Your fingers would stretch towards the ceiling and you realized you couldn't put off the day. A yawn would escape your mouth, something so routine, so normal, and you made it so majestic. The exhaustion would roll off of my shoulders as I watched you walk around your room, picking up random things that you needed to get ready. My eyes would glaze to give you some decency and I would just see the thought of you, a shadow of you creeping across my eyes.

_I'll put a spell on you, you'll fall asleep, cause' I'll put a spell on you…_

My heart would hammer as you walked out of your apartment, you're the only one that made my heart change pace, I had acquired the skill of stoicism, but you had broken my façade. I wanted so badly to reveal myself to you, wanted so badly for you to see my face, to see your reaction, to hear, taste, smell, touch it. I hungered so much for just that small moment of surprise that it was almost like an addiction…and addiction to the building of tension, until finally, the moment, the climax, and all would be revealed.

_And when I wake you…_

I thought that day was the day where I would show you. All of this would be known to me, I struggled to wrap my brain around the fact that you were still completely oblivious to my presence. The day passed, my mind a glaze, I didn't need to watch where you were going to follow you there. I almost didn't bother trying to hide myself, maybe you would glimpse me by an accident, a sudden turn of events that would be in my favor. I wouldn't have to take part in the unveiling…But of course, you didn't.

_I'll be the first thing you see…_

I thought you saw me that night…in your mirror as you had once before. You didn't shiver this time, you just stared at my reflection for a moment, and I let you, I didn't dare move a muscle. I expected you to turn around…and you would see me. But you didn't. You smiled at the reflection, your eyes wide and trusting, your smile knowing. But did you really see me? I couldn't be sure. If you had…well, I had my moment, my unveiling, it didn't end with a scream, it didn't end with a shiver, it ended with the rawest emotion there is. No, it wasn't the one I couldn't define, it was happiness. It was a smile, and I think that's as close as I can get to an understanding.

_And you'll realize that you love me…_


End file.
